Things Could Be Worse

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see

that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow

that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with
trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend because 

I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.

But it' s not only the passion...Dad, she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood

for the whole winter.

We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that

marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people
that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will
pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy
can get better. She deserves it. 

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit

so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John

P.S.
Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.

I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse
things in life than a report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home